And no, it’s not what you think.
That’s simply our word of the hour. As in, nearly every hour since cancer has had its way with two of our loved ones, who died exactly two weeks apart, completely obliterating the month of March for our family and close friends. It was then that we started our fuck therapy (the non-copulation kind) and we haven’t slowed since. I can’t say I’m having any fun with it, but it’s cathartic (you should try it) and is cheaper than a therapist. So is writing this stupid post.
I’m trying hard to be a lady, but I just don’t give a fuck anymore. Maybe someday I’ll go back to thinking about my company and surroundings and dial the fucks down to my normal good Catholic-girl level. She and She have grown accustomed to our fuck therapy, and remembering my parent’s quirky stretches of life, know we’re building on moments that they’ll recall with some sort of humored, yet sad, fondness. “Remember that time when all Mom and Steve said was fuck?” In this phase of maniacal leniency, are allowing them to let ‘em rip without repercussion. It’s just our luck that we’ve raised some good girls who self-monitor, ’cause God knows, we can’t.
Despite my good Catholic-girl modus operandi, I do save a special expletive strain for one particular person. When the hubs hears me yell “Fuckity, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK”, he knows exactly to whom I was talking or reading, and wonders whether or not to ask. I imagine for him it’s an “oh, shit” moment.
In the DOC, there are a few people who unashamedly let their fuck flag fly. One in particular has my utmost admiration and respect for letting it all out. It is part of who she is and I find it endearing that she’s not filtering for the rest of us. I think I even love her for it. “This stupid fucking post made me want to throw my computer.” Enjoy her for yourself: http://sixuntilme.com/
I give any one person in our diabetic community a complete pass when it comes to engaging in fuck therapy. It’s not uncommon to see FUD (fuck you diabetes) as someone’s Facebook status. And it needs no further explanation, because we’ve all likely been in the same situation, whatever it may be. FUD covers everything from the alteration of a family’s plans, to a few terrifying hours fighting dastardly lows. Comments flood in, and the person knows they are not alone.
I know we’re not alone, as grief, hardship and loss are all around us. We know you have our backs and not your judgment.
Much fucking gratitude to you all, and enjoy this photo of Frank who hangs out in our backyard keeping our creature friends company, and us just a little bit more at peace.